I don't know what is going on in my head at the moment, but I am soon going ot crash and burn.

I cried myself to sleep last night, that was after I was sick where I got myself so completely worked up.  I shook from head to toe, I couldn't talk,  I was choking on my tears in the end I nearly hyperventilated.

I can't explain why I was thinking the way I was thinking, apart from the fact that I am heading for a nervous breakdown, so the slightest little thing knocks me off balance, and being advised to get rid didn't have the right effect.  Just made me think that there was a alteria motive, which I have been assured there isn't.

No one understands what I am going through, no one knows where I have been, I have suffered for love in the wrong hands for so long, that I don't know what real love is, at least I didn't until I met my baby, and now I am so scared that I don't know what is going to happen.

This is a love that doesn't come with abuse and degredation, a black eye or a fat lip. There are no words of hate or digust when he touches me, no beatings for my trouble.  This is a love I am learning to understand, and that there is truth to it.   Being I am 32 and this is the only time in 22 years that I have ever been loved for the right reasons, can you see why I am so screwed up?

Probably not, because you haven't been in my shoes, and I know there are others out there far worse off then I am, but I don't cope with certain things so well.